Thursday, January 31, 2013

And another thought...

These thoughts are coming in a timely manner as I find myself more and more argumentative these days. I am so frustrated with this whole bed rest situation, heartburn, gaining weight, feeling uncomfortable, aching all over, being thirsty all the time, watching but not engaging, looking out but not being out, eating, drinking, sleeping, repeating, not showering, waking up and sleeping in the same clothes, asking for help, needing constant assistance, having to decide between washing my hair and making a sandwich, sitting on the couch, laying on the couch, moving to bed, back to the couch again, watching the same show, checking my email, stalking facebook, checking the board, writing in my blog, reading books, watching people go out, watching JR go out, struggling with JR to go out, explaining to her that I cannot go out (cause you have a baby in your belly?).

Day in and day out I am under the blanket, legs up, trying to keep myself busy, trying to keep my mind sane, trying to find the positive, trying not to complain, pushing my way through, hanging in there, wearing a smile, not being upset, but I am so DONE! This week has been one of the longest weeks of my life. I am tired of being cooped up. I have serious cabin fever. I have no outlet. So, I start arguments, something to make my life a little more "interesting," to get me a little more "engaged." But I need not to, and I should not. I know it but need reminders; who doesn't. These reminders came just as I needed them, as if the universe had known that I needed help and rushed in to save me before I self-destructed. It may just as well be a coincidence, but I like to think it is fate!

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