(non) American Girl Girl ~ No dolls for us

My first exposure to the American Girl (AG) doll was one day at the Mall of America (MOA). My parents had just moved to the US and we had taken them on a trip to Minnesota to meet the extended Mike family. One cold day, and aren't most of them as such in MN!, we decided to show them the biggest mall they had ever seen. And so a road trip to MOA ensued. It was right after Christmas but the mall was still dressed up extra special.

After walking around and seeing the usual corporate chain stores, buying a load of holiday chocolates from Lindt which was on clearance after December 26th rolled around, and remarking on the indoor amusement park, we decided to see what else made MOA so special. And thus we found ourselves in front of a three floors store catering just for dolls.

Our jaws dropped and our eyes opened wide. Still new to the culture of American capitalism, consumerism, and retail therapy, we could not comprehend the concept behind such magnification of and dedication to doll, and frankly I still do not understand! We stood in awe of all the effort and detail and attention put into marketing dolls and all their accessories to girls from a young age.

Shoes, underwear, hair brushes, sports gear, casts, wheelchairs and crutches to assist with injuries acquired from using said sports gear, eye glasses, braces, retainers, furniture, books and CDs, and the list goes on for things you could buy for your AG doll once you have settled on your loved one.

And not only that, but your purchasing power allows you to match the doll to yourself and  your interests, or is it the other way around!

We were mesmerized, especially when we saw the price tags! While you could bring home a doll for a little over $100, it was everything that came after that that added up.

One could possibly graduate from college with the money they would potentially spend over the years outfitting and caring for their doll.

Walking through the store cheerful ladies holding their favorite dolls greeted us and asked if they could help us. We saw a long line at one end, and wondered what all these girls were waiting for: their turn at the doll salon! For $12 you could get a professional braid for your doll! For $12 I could have my own hair cut!!! We were speechless! And even more so when we were asked if we had reservations at the cafe and were told there was a wait to be seated! Of course, we waited; I wanted to see what the buzz was about. Whipped cream with sprinkles, bite sized desserts and high chairs and pretend treats for your doll to dine on. It was certainly an experience.

On that day, and during that time, I decided that I was not going to take my family down the AG doll lane should I have a daughter. There may well be other doll lanes that we travel, but this was not going to be one of them. I felt that AG dolls had their own culture and life-style circling around them, were so consumer oriented and that you could do not AG half-way. I saw girls walking around touting their look-alike dolls down to the hairdo and I just did not picture myself doing that with my daughter.

And then I had a daughter!...

Beirut Marathon 2013/14

I woke up into life on another Sunday. I did not want to get out of bed yet and so I did the usual: check status updates on Facebook. "Walkers and runners, the streets are ours today," said one update. It was from a friend in Lebanon. I moved on. Then it struck me: this time last year the kids and I were in Beirut, and we were part of the Beirut Marathon. How easily time slips by and how fast one moves on. No matter how slow I go about my days, they just seem to pile up behind me.

Here is an excerpt of the post I wrote last year, almost year to date.

For years I have wanted to walk a marathon. Every chance I get I think this is the one I will do. Then I never get around to it. I either am busy with other things, have not trained, pregnant, on bed rest, or just plain lazy. This year, though, the chance landed in my lap out of the blue.

In Beirut, with family around and nothing to do, I decided to take the challenge head on. My cousin and her husband had already registered for the marathon and had an extra bib on hand. "Of course I would go," I responded and the next thing I know it was Sunday and time to head out.

For the full text, go to 10k with 10k.

Happy Sunday!

Coffee and Cake

I am not a big fan of paying for coffee at a shop when I can make it at home just the same. I am also not a big fan of buying mass produced, highly processed, sugar loaded cakes from said, or other, coffee shops. But when Jeff is travelling and I have easy access to the car, JR is off at school and Yousef and I need a change in scenery I make an exception, especially when I can have my coffee for free and can earn a star for Yousef's treat.

We had been living in a three story townhouse in a new development in Howard County for a little over four months when I finally got comfortable with driving fifteen minutes to a standalone Starbucks; not in a Target, not in a Safeway, not in a Barnes and Noble, not at the Mall, but all by itself, like they should be. All this time I had refused the concept of a) driving to get coffee, and b) driving altogether unless I really have to. And when I have to I drop Jeff off at work and find myself in front of Columbia Mall that houses a Starbucks should I want to dispense the stars earned mostly from Jeff's walks over there on a special venti drink.

Living in Arlington, VA had spoiled me: I could walk to no less than half a dozen coffee shops in fifteen minutes or less and I could stock my pantry and refrigerator, pay my phone, and internet and cable bills, pay my local taxes, pick up books from the library, do DMV transactions, visit the post office, choose between five playgrounds, attend three story times, buy clothes all without having to set seat in a vehicle. So naturally when we relocated to the suburbs, I resisted changing my habit. Then, I got somewhat over it; just somewhat.

I used to take JR on dates when she was Yousef's age and so it was time for Yousef and I to spend some "quality" time together outside our neighborhood. That the weather that day had not turned into the extremely windy and chilly it later became was a bonus.

The map which I thought was my best guide to a new location, showed me the way to its proximity then sent me around in circles. Had I not been determined to hang out with Yousef that morning in the fresh air I would have turned the car around and driven home. But after long minutes of driving up and down the street looking for Starbucks, I was getting close to giving up. Then, I saw it. It was in a building smaller than the ones around it, so it was not that obvious. We made it this far. The line was out the door, it was after 8:00am so I guess people wanted their coffee on their way to work. We took a turn. Yousef was fussy. I held him; he squirmed. I tried to entertain him; we spilled an entire jar of special reserve coffee on the floor. I was getting impatient. Then, it was our turn.

Grande Thanksgiving roast and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin with an empty plastic cup for milk for Yousef. We were all set. We headed to the patio. Most of the chairs and tables were wet but we found a couple of dry ones. Two bites into his muffin Yousef was on to moving around.

Two sips into my coffee I was chasing napkins, wiping down spilled milk and holding on to the muffin; the wind was gaining momentum and I had to secure our belongings. I also had to take photos; I wanted to commemorate our outing. By that time I think the other coffee drinkers were wondering about me; I don't think I seemed collected to them and I probably wasn't: I had been up multiple times during the night and then completely up since 4:00am because I gave up on trying to go back to sleep and wanted to write.

It all ended well, though. I didn't care what people thought. Yousef had a good time. I enjoyed being out with him. He ate, I drank and we both played in the sun. When it was time to sit in the car seat, though, the fun was all over - but that is another story for another day.

Another Halloween

Another year and another Halloween. It seems this lesson does not want to leave me alone. Either that or I am learning a new lesson: there are some things you just cannot escape. 

I thought this year again that we would have a choice with whether or not to get involved in Halloween. Turned out that the choice really was not about the involvement or lack thereof, but rather in the extent to which and in which we got involved. 

From the moment I learned at Parents' Night at JR's school that they are organizing a Halloween parade my mind had been spinning on how to void it. When I realized there was no escape, I turned my thoughts to how not to get into it feet first, not spend a huge amount of disposable income on costumes, decoration, and candy, and at the same time not deny JR the inclusion and the fun that comes with October 31st.

Instead of an elaborate dress-up feat, JR donned on wings and a tutu and held a wand; three dollars well spent at the store. She had hearts and flowers on her cheeks and stars in her hair; Mama's hidden talents well used in front of the mirror. She got transformed into her own magical self appearing as a fairy; JR's being came shining through.  

Instead of elaborate decorating our house and front yard, we decorated pumpkins. JR, Yousef and I used markers, paint, glue and sparkles turning them into multicolored displays. JR and Baba used carving knives and turned them into jack-o-lanterns. Our other neighbors had extra flickering lights and Jr was not too shy to ask to borrow them for our front door handrail.

And instead of handing out treats outside our garage door either by the light of a bonfire or a jack-o-lantern, as we learned is now the habit weather permitting, we decided to take a casual family walk. We did not go trick or treating, but walked in our regular clothes and remarked on the costumes going by. We surveyed decorations, remarked on costumes, chatted with people we know, introduced ourselves to others we didn't yet meet. We even visited a haunted house constructed out of a garage complete with music and smoke for ambiance. JR and Yousef got handed candy, stickers and toys just because they were out. 

We did not escape Halloween. We did not avoid Halloween. We did not run away from it as fast as we could. We did not leave on our road trip as we had planned. And, we did not lock ourselves in our house like we thought we would do. Instead, we found ways to render this day a family event with our own set of rules, and traditions. We continued reinforcing what we do and don't do with and on Halloween without denying our kids their part in the day. JR had a good time, Yousef got his first taste, and we all created happy memories. 

A "Perfect" Day

My days are far from being perfect. There is always this and that left to, this person to call and that issue to deal with. The sink is never empty and the laundry is never done. Meals are cooked to order and cleaning up takes more time than enjoyment. One or both kids are regularly vying for my attention, in need of something or just wanting a hug. Most days I just want to pull my hair out, leave the kids at home, and walk as fast as I can in the opposite directions. I distract myself with my phone, pretend a chore is taking longer than it needs to, busy myself in the office just to get a moment to think.

And yet, my days are perfect. They are filled with love and affection, attention and gratitude.

Fall has been amazingly mild this year and we have been blessed with being able to savor it almost daily. As the last day of October approaches I look back and can only remember one rainy day when the kids and I had to walk back from the school in the wet. Some days are colder than others but twice this week we were out in short sleeved attire to bask in the sun. The days are short, but the list is long. On top of it is Enjoy! Enjoy every day while you can. It is followed by Walk. Walk as much as you can, absorb the sights and sounds. Remark on the trees. Notice the sky. The moon is shining. The stars are out. What a beautiful sunset. Look at the clouds. It is too dark today. "Why is it still dark?" Pick up leaves. Fill the bag. "I want a red one, Mama." "Look at this one, Baba." 

My days are far from being perfect, and yet they are. 

First Day of Pre-K!

Words of Advice

Six Words of Advice – by Tibetan teacher, Tilopa

Let go of what has passed.
Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now.
Don't try to figure anything out.
Don't try to make things happen.
Relax, right now, and rest. 

                                 ~translation by Ken McLeod

Quoted in Tara Brach's guided meditation: Emptiness Dancing